No-Anxiety Stories. Chapter 27: When Anxiety Became the Architecture
Sana sat in a borrowed apartment between borders and deadlines, drinking coffee instead of panicking. She had left home when the bombs began. But she hadn’t yet found where she belonged.
If anywhere.
She wasn’t settled. Not really for years. First, it was escape. Then logistics. Then survival. Now - restlessness wrapped in pragmatism. She didn’t call it depression. She called it a “quiet panic.”
“I guess, I’m tired,” she said. “Just still haven’t arrived where I was heading.”
The Disappearance of ‘Home’
Sana had tried several countries. Belgium. Germany. Short trips, long pauses. But none of them gave her the click - the yes, this is it. Instead, each new city just added to the map of “not it.”
“I thought it would be Kyiv,” she said. “I wanted it to be Kyiv. But now it feels too fragile for a future. And nothing else has stepped in to replace it.”
She wasn’t choosing a country. She was trying to choose a future self. But how do you do that when even the idea of “home” feels ruined?
“Everything’s on pause. And at the same time, the clock’s still ticking.”
🌀 Reflect:
Are you searching for a location - or for a life that makes sense again?
Living with the Unfinished
“I feel like I’m constantly managing ten unresolved things,” she said.
Papers. Parents. Income. Where to live. What to do.
“Oh - and joy. Forgot to file joy under urgent.”
There had been periods when it got bad. Really bad. Quiet heart attacks before sleep. The fear wasn’t dramatic - it was ordinary.
The fear of running out. Of failing. Of not making it.
Of never getting to be the version of herself that danced at Tomorrowland at 70, in a wheelchair, laughing with old girlfriends.
That dream stayed. A joke that wasn’t quite a joke.
A future worth building for. But the building felt endless.
The Real Cost of Anxiety
For Sana, anxiety wasn’t a feeling.
It was the infrastructure.
It shaped how she planned, how she moved, how she thought about eggs - not metaphorical ones, but literal ones.
Savings. Safe accounts. Backup banks in case one country fails.
“I don’t need to be rich,” she said. “I just want to be safe enough to think clearly.”
Because without safety, creativity gets hijacked. Imagination becomes survival logistics.
And instead of asking who am I becoming?
You just ask how will I not fall apart this week?
🌀 Reflect:
Are you building your life around fear - or with enough safety to choose from desire?
Her No-Anxiety Practices
Sana didn’t escape her fear. She studied it. And now, she’s trying to work with it - not just against it.
Here’s how she’s slowly turning anxiety from a jailer into a compass:
Creating emotional audit trails:
She notices where the panic starts - and asks, “Is this a new threat or an old wound?”
Then she breathes. Or paints. Or cries.
And keeps going.Choosing manageable problems:
Instead of spiraling about housing and passports and permanence, she lets herself focus on what’s in reach:
collaborations, creative ideas, small steps toward self-reinvention.Distinguishing safety from stasis:
She wants the kind of stability that frees you to move, not the kind that makes you stuck.
Eggs in baskets - but the kind you can take with you.
💡 What you might take from Sana’s story:
1- You don’t have to wait until you feel calm to start building calm.
2- You don’t need to feel at home in a country - only in yourself.
3- And maybe, just maybe, anxiety isn’t the enemy.
It’s just an overdeveloped muscle.
One that’s tired of holding everything alone.
Thanks for reading.
Subscribe for more No-Anxiety Method stories - where self-doubt becomes data, and even scattered days can point toward peace.